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Four Years Since the Great Awakening – We’re Still Not Tired

One of my favorite fake news howlers of all time was the one where President Trump got mad at Melania and beat her up in June of 2018. The media thinkers told us that the First Lady hadn’t appeared in public for a few days because her abusive husband had her trapped in a domestic violence situation and didn’t want the public to see the bruises. He had probably discovered that she was an immigrant!

As if it’s a First Lady’s duty to hang out in the Rose Garden every day while being stalked and yelled at by CNN’s Jim Acosta. Of course, it all turned out to be a lie and she had been hospitalized for a few days over a kidney issue.

What was beautiful about that story was that we all knew it was another fake news lie. Thanks to the Great Awakening of 2016, every Trump supporter in America now has a finely tuned internal Fake News Radar system that is dialed up to 11. None of us fell for the lie that the President of the United States was a perpetrator of spousal abuse.

The Great Awakening of 2016 was the moment when we all realized that Conservative, Inc. was a bunch of phony losers who didn’t actually care about our conservative issues. All they cared about was the table scraps they were receiving from the mainstream media. So long as their sinecures were safe, no conservative principle that was important to the American people was sacred.

The Great Awakening culminated in the National Review issue that was published four years ago, in January of 2016. It was titled, “Against Trump.” 22 of the leading conservative thinkers of conservative thinking who like to tell us all what conservative thought really means contributed essays to that issue.

For many, National Review was considered the gold standard of conservative thinking for many years. Even if the articles did leave real conservatives often scratching their heads and thinking, “You know what? I really don’t think there’s a conservative case to be made for transgender bathrooms.”

Those 22 conservative thought leaders put their thinking caps on, and they all thought in writing, simultaneously, that Donald Trump was icky and awful and bad and mean and crass and dumb and dangerous. Keep in mind that Trump was running away with the crown at that point. He had won every debate – including the ones he didn’t attend. For the debates that he skipped, he held rallies that featured sellout crowds that were bigger than a free Rolling Stones-Paul McCartney concert. Tut, tut, real conservatives are supposed to lose with dignity!

National Review’s act of public seppuku is still online if you want to look it up and punish yourself for some reason. I’ll summarize some of their awesome “conservative” points here.

On immigration, they told us that Trump simply “doesn’t make sense.” A wall? Mass deportations? Putting the interests of Americans ahead of foreign invaders? What is this nonsense of which the Bad Orange Man speaks?

On foreign policy, they told us that Trump knows “almost nothing.” Hah! Snort!

On trade, they told us that Trump’s proposed tariffs on foreign goods, which would provide equal opportunity to American manufacturers and businesses, were “anathema to the ordered liberty that conservatives hold dear.” Uh… I think you mean libertarians, you morons.

Then they compared Donald Trump to Jesse Jackson, saying the two men “are excrescences of instant-hit media culture.” Yes, the establishmentarians at Conservative, Inc. called Jesse Jackson an “excrescence.”

But Trump is the real racist somehow. My bowtie is officially ruffled!

National Review and the rest of the Never Trump, never-kissed-a-girl losers of Conservative, Inc. overplayed their hands. They revealed themselves to be frauds who never had our best interests in mind. They don’t care about you or your family or your values or your faith or the Constitution.

I don’t know about you, but I’m eternally grateful for the Great Awakening, and for my finely tuned Fake News Radar. It makes my life easier. I enjoy consuming news in written form. If you’ve read this far into this article, I suspect you do too. It’s nice to be able to just glance at a byline now and know that I can safely skip reading anything that’s been written by fake conservatives.

To Jonah Goldberg, Max Boot, Peggy Noonan, Bill Kristol and the rest of the Never Trumpers: Congratulations, you are Fake News! And we’re never letting you near the reins of power again.


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